Quarantine 2020

Hello dear reader. I'm kind of new at this, so don't judge me. At least not right now, 'cause I know you will. 

If you are reading this right now, you're going through this quarantine. I think I can say for everyone that this really sucks. And I get it, it's necessary and stuff. We can actually die because of the damn virus that is going around. But I don't really want to talk about the virus; there are enough things out there about this damn thing. I want to talk about the quarantine itself. 

It's been around nine or so days, give or take, that we've been in this. It hasn't really taken a toll on my mind, not that much. I mean, I was basically living in a self-imposed quarantine several months already. I find activities to do here, like reading. I have been reading "The Two Towers" which is the second book in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy by J. R. R. Tolkien, and "Archenemies" which is the second book in the "Renegades" trilogy by Marissa Meyer. Also, I've been re-reading "The Magicians" by Lev Grossman. 

Aside from reading, I have been watching movies nonstop and series, catching up with everything I've missed these months. Being a teacher takes a lot of your personal time, so I've used this time to relax a bit. I've even made a list of the movies I have seen so far, which I will write later. I have been thinking of doing exercise again, to spend my time and also to lose a little weight. 

In other words, being locked down hasn't really affected me. And with this blog I'm starting, I hope to distract myself too, and use the little (almost non-existent) talent I have for writing. Reflecting on these days, I look at myself and I see that I had to make time for myself already. Classes, disrespectful students, annoying parents, backstabbing and hypocritical coworkers, and cold relatives have been taking a toll on my mental health. I needed to stop. So, I'm not happy at all that all of this has happened, but at least I had the chance to stop, breathe and find myself again in this silence. 

Nevertheless, there are several things I miss from the outside world. These are things that sadly I took for granted, because I thought they would always be there. You don't really picture your life without the things that make it comfortable and sweet, so when they're not there anymore, a sense of emptiness lingers. Anyways, here is a list I made of the things I miss the most from outside: 

1- Feeling the wind and the sun on my skin while I walk. 

2- Driving around.

3- Going to the grocery store without a care. 

4- Buying food. 

5 - Visiting my friends. 

6- Seeing my mom. 

7- Going to the movies. 

8- Going to school (sometimes). 

9- Interact with others without fear. 

10- Hugs. 

Like I said, I took them for granted. They're not great things, but I certainly miss them. Also, I worry about the food and other resources, such as my pets' food. I will have to go outside eventually, and that terrifies me. I obviously feel safer in my house, but it's unrealistic to think that I can stay here forever. I just hope I'm ready for when the day comes. 

To conclude, I want to mention my favorite quote from "The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood, "I wait. I compose myself. Myself is a thing I must now compose as one composes a speech."

I will wait for as long as necessary. I will do everything in my power to maintain my sanity intact. This is not the end, it's just another chapter. In the silence, solitude and social distancing, I will build myself as I've done in the past, and this too shall pass. 

I don't want to talk more about this topic. I figure everyone who might read this probably feels the same as I do about some things. But I don't want to spend all my thought in this, or my blogs in this topic. There are thousands of other things I can write about, so this is officially the first and last blog I'll write about the quarantine. Stay safe everyone. I hope we all make it to December. 

With hugs, 

Ema

P.S. List of movies I have seen during these days (so far): 

1- Bridesmaids

2- The Fellowship of the Ring

3- Halloween

4- Poltergeist

5- Madea Goes to Jail 

6- The Two Towers

7- Land of the Lost 

8- Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

9- Forrest Gump 

10- Now you See Me 

11- 2012

12- Mrs. Doubtfire 

14- Zombieland

15- Mr. and Mrs. Smith

16- The Return of the King 

17- Glass 

18- Titanic 

19- Joker 

20- Blades of Glory