For those of you who might not know, "Sex and the City" is a television series inspired by a book of the same name by Candace Bushnell. It tells the story of four female friends named Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda, and their adventures living in New York City. During the series we see these women go to parties, meet and date men, explore their sexuality, grow as people, professionals and friends, and how they learn to love themselves more and more.
I am part of this group of friends, all female but me. I have to say I love them with all my heart. I won't mention their names, but they are also big fans of the series, and once we assigned the four main characters to each of us depending on our personalities and love lives.
One of them got Charlotte, for being the most artistic of the group, having a long and steady relationship, and being very sweet as the character. My other friend got Samantha, for reasons I won't discuss here; let's just say she loves her independence more than anything else. Last but not least, I've made an awesome new friend who got Miranda, because she always speaks her mind, she's sassy and super funny, and also has a very long standing relationship. But then I realized I was left with Carrie. I wondered, is this a good thing at all?
Carrie is, arguably, the one with the rockiest love life. At the same time, she enjoys great sex but can't help but long for that one true love; she's a hopeless romantic. She's also a writer who loves shopping beautiful clothes and fancy things. She loves being with her friends and finds in them the biggest support. To top it all, she's desperately in love with the devilish handsome Mr. Big, who entered her life and changed it forever.
The thing is, Carrie is not perfect (as any good character). She can be superficial, egotistic, somewhat impulsive regarding her feelings, and sometimes makes permanent decisions on temporal situations. And I have to say something I am not very glad to admit: I relate to her in more ways than I'd like. For the good part, I'm beginning to write here and I'm an English teacher, so I spend lots of time writing or reading. I love shopping beautiful things and clothes as long as I can afford them, and I'm a hopeless romantic who still enjoys the occasional date. But I can also be impulsive, I take rash decisions, and I can be a little arrogant.
So, I wonder: is being a Carrie a good thing? Am I ready to play this role? It's not like it's life mandatory, but I do see myself falling into this role more and more with my friends. We have sweet Charlotte, independent Samantha and sassy Miranda; am I the romantic Carrie? I am a hopeless romantic after all. I believe in romance, in dancing a waltz in my wedding. There would be white and pink flowers, my friends and family present, and a gorgeous Mr. Big by my side. This might seem great, but Carrie has a very unsteady love life in general. Am I doomed to have a bad love life as well? Is this a part of the character I can't avoid? Sometimes it seems like it.
Nevertheless, writing this has given me some perspective. Is being Carrie that bad? I say no. She may have a bad love life, but she learns from her mistakes and doesn't let them erase her smile. With her friends' help she learns to love herself before she loves anyone else. She continually makes progress in her career, she explores her sexuality shamelessly, and she can be humble enough (sometimes) to admit she was wrong and ask for forgiveness.
I take all the good and bad from Carrie, just as I am learning to accept all parts of me. I take her power and strength, her passion and sexuality, but most of all her love for herself and her friends. More than the love she has for Mr. Big, I will always keep in my heart the love she had for Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. Men can come and go, but good and real friends are forever. I am deeply grateful for the friends I have, who constantly show their support and love, and remind me that I'm not alone in this world.
And they also remind me that having fun between the sheets from time to time is not a bad thing at all.
With love,
Ema
P.S. Carrie Bradshaw, I sincerely hope I become as good as a writer like you someday.
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